Wow has it really been a year since my last post? Why is it that time goes so fast when things are good and so incredibly slow when times are hard?
Anyhow, I am grateful that times have been fantastic over the last year. Isn't life amazing how quickly it's possible to forget pain? Today I found a New York Times "Share your Breast Cancer" story submission form, visited my blog to find a few snippets to share on that post, and realized that it's about time I update this with all the good stuff that's been going on in my life.
Since last year this time, I have bought a house and moved out of the city of San Francisco into the warm and sunny Berkeley. It was a risk, but the right decision financially, and I can say almost exactly a year from moving here, that I am extremely happy with my decision. Life is a bit slower, but I was at a point where I had been craving that anyway.
For a long time after my cancer treatment I struggled with the idea of dating. I had been through so much shit that I just didn't want to put myself out there in a very real and vulnerable way anymore. At the same time, I craved the companionship and intimacy of a man. I didn't know how to get to know someone. At what point does cancer come up in a conversation? In reality, it doesn't. There is never a good time to bring it up... but I guarantee you by the time you get naked, you had better have said something or else there are going to be some big surprises! So I just avoided it, doing a few awkward online dates from time to time that didn't really amount to much. Then, on my road trip to Utah, I randomly met Nico in a bar that ended up being someone that didn't take any work to get to know. He is sweet, and raw and real and read my entire blog start to finish the month I met him. He sees me for who I am, and although neither of us is perfect, we both see the big picture and love each other very much. I couldn't feel luckier. I got a dog for the first time in my life, now that I have a backyard and a partner in crime to help me take care of him. He's a cute, sweet little 90lb mastiff/pitbull rescue from the Berkeley humane society. I made the decision on a bit of a whim not realizing how much work I was signing myself up for, but it certainly is rewarding also.
I quit my fancy job at Google and joined a startup tech company. It's been a wild ride, and was definitely a risky decision, but one of those decisions where you just have to find out what happens, and know you'll regret it if you never do. So I did it. So far so good.
Also, on the health side, things are great. I finally got myself some nipples this past January, although I still haven't tattooed on an areola, I am slightly more normal looking. I think eventually I'll finish them off since I've gotten this far, although I don't really worry about it as much anymore since I know Nico likes them. But, just for myself, as a reward for what I've worked toward, I still think it would be good to do.A few pictures as well - the hair is normal length now, almost as if nothing had happened, except we all know that you can never quite be the same :)
Love,
Amy
