Wig Shopping

Hi Team,

Don't have a whole lot of time to post right now b/c I need to get ready to go pick up my friend Michelle at the airport (Yay!!) but thought I'd post a few fun pics from wig shopping yesterday. I tried on a bunch of wigs, but to be honest it was about what I expected from a "free" wig bank... a lot of them were matted and looked very wiggy, and/or had big holes in the scalp area that just looked weird. I only found one that actually looked well-made, somewhat updated of a style and real enough that I could brush it out and maybe pin the bangs and look somewhat decent in public. Perhaps I'll play more and go to a shop to look at other ones, but not sure how much $$ I would actually spend on it since I really don't mind going bald or wearing a scarf or hat most of the time.

Here are the pics - The blonde one is the one I took home. My friends Monika and Addie were playing w/ the wigs with me, so you can get an idea of what some of the other ones looked like. Enjoy!

Quick Update

Hi Team,

Had some Dr appointments today - nothing too surprising, but good news overall. First I met with Dr. Liu (oncologist) and the overall consensus is we are going to continue the same as this past time. He was quite pleased (as am I) at our results, so far the original tumor that I had about 4cmx5cm has shrunk significantly as a result of the chemo, to the point where this time it was hard for both of us to tell how big the tumor is anymore. He did an "official" measurement at about 1.5cmx1.5cm this time. Overall the side effects, while not pleasant, were manageable this time around, no major trips to the hospital or pain the had me laid out in bed for days. So hopefully this next time around will go similarly.

I had blood drawn from my port for the first time, I like that I don't have to get stuck with a needle to get blood drawn - there is now a round peice of metal with a little round silicone pad just under my skin that has a tube/cathater connecting into my jugular vein. It stays in all the time and all they have to do to draw blood or give me fluids or chemo intraveniously is insert a special needle into the silicone pad. It just looks like a bump under my skin normally, you can tell it's there but just looks like a bump about the size of a nickel and of course a scab still healing from the surgery when they installed it. The nice thing is that they don't have to dig in my arm with a needle anymore or damage any veins in the process of all the drugs I have to get via IV.

I also met with my surgeon Dr. Langer today - she was also very pleased at the progress and thinks I'll have a full reaction to the chemo, meaning that by the time I am done with chemo there may not be any more cancerous tissue in my breast. That is a very good sign for my prognosis and doesn't always happen, so good news! Monika went with me and we had a nice chat w/ Dr. Langer also about traveling and how much we all value it - she is traveling to eastern Europe at the end of August and sounds like a very cool trip. Makes me want to start planning my next trip abroad. We also dicussed how interesting it is that the American culture is really the only one that doesn't commonly promote traveling abroad as an easy thing to do an important part of learning about other cultures and broadening horizons. Perhaps because we're a large country so far away from other parts of the world, but I'm hoping that pattern will change eventually. I love traveling and I think it's very important to understand how other parts of the world live. Of course you have to be the change you want to see in the world so I'll do my best :) Anyhow, back to the subject at hand, I will check in with her again at the end of July and tentatively plan my surgery for the beginning of September, and we'll decide for sure what type of surgery and reconstruction we'll do at that point. We'll also do another MRI to see if we can find any cancerous tissue left.

Best,
Amy

Loving my Week 3

Hi Team,


I've actually had quite a busy week, thus the quietness on the blog here... but I've been loving my last week in the cycle and the energy that I have. I'm sure once I return back to normal and chemo is done, I'll start taking my energy levels for granted again... but I sure do appreciate having energy to go out and socialize, do things I enjoy and get out of the house!! I have never felt so cooped up in my little apartment.


So let's see just the highlights then.


First of all, I LOVE my Neulasta shot. I will have to tell the pharmacist at Kaiser (Lynn) that it's worth every penny - see my previous blog with reciept attached if you're wondering how many pennies. I can't believe what a difference this cycle has been vs. the first cycle of chemo. Like night and day. Granted I still was exhausted and still had some pain, flu-like symptoms (but no fever!) for the first two weeks, and the weird stuff like more hair falling out, numbness of my tastebuds, weird pain in my arm vein that got messed up last time, etc. This time was totally manageable relative to last time. I gave myself the mental OK to take percocet when I was in a lot of pain and I only took 4 during the whole treatment, which compared to last time while I was in the hospital and taking them constantly every 4 hours, was quite good! I did have to take ativan to help sleep as my body has not been great at letting me sleep through the night still, but at least I am not waking up in pain. Tomorrow I have a regular check up with my oncologist - I meet with him every time I get chemo a few days before, and this time they will take my blood from my port rather than sticking me with another needle. They will test my blood counts to make sure I am at an acceptable level to get my next chemo infusion, which I'm sure I will be, I feel far better than I did last time. Then I have another exciting appointment - my 6 week check in with my breast specialist/surgeon who will be doing my mastectomy. I'm not sure exactly what the agenda for this appointment is, but I'm sure we'll be talking more about the details of my surgery so I will keep you all posted.


On to more fun stuff - This past weekend was my friend Addie's birthday and we had a wonderful day. First we got massages at the Kabuki Hot Springs, then spent about 3 hours in their sauna/spa/just laying there relaxing. Then we went to lunch at Dosa on Fillmore (pic is us at lunch, me sporting my first outing with a scarf on my head), delicious Indian food - then shoes and swimsuit shopping. So much fun and we decided that this type of day should definitely not be reserved for birthdays.


Then... Anthony and I went to Vegas this past Monday, just got back home today! Since we fly for free (Anthony works for Jet Blue), and had a comped room at the Rio, we decided to plan it, and if I didn't have the energy to do it, it wouldn't cost us anything to cancel. I am SO glad we went... I have been feeling so cooped up in the apartment, and in need of some theraputic sun. We mostly laid by the pool the whole time except for a little excursion to watch the Lakers/Suns playoff game at Lagasse's Stadium/Sports Book at the Palazzo. The whole place was really fun except for the Lakers sucking at rebounding and defense. Anyhow, I wore lots of sunscreen and didn't get burned but I already miss the warm sun on me. There is something that does that makes me so much happier and more positive, I think whatever chemical reactions happen from warmth/sun must be on overdrive for me.


Lots of fun posts upcoming in the next days - Dr appointments tomorrow, Wig shopping on Friday and I have two visitors over the upcoming week - Kristina from Boston Sun-Wed and Michelle from Chicago all week! Can't wait!! AND, due to the wonderful holiday weekend, I get to have my chemo infusion on Tuesday instead of the regularly scheduled Monday infusions, which means an extra day of freedom this time around.

Love,
Amy

Hawaiian Fundraiser

Amy's dad put together a fundraiser to help with medical and travel expenses during her treatment. It's a golf tournament/dinner/silent auction in Kona, but you can be a part of it from anywhere. Check out his Team Amy page for more details:


Hawaii Team Amy Fundraiser

My Exciting Day

Hi Team,

Today my friend Addie came over to work from my apartment and keep me company. We had lunch at a cafe with our friend Corey who fed me more of my heroine, Grey's Anatomy. I'm now officially on season 4 of 5 that are out on video, and this afternoon I watched 6 hours of the show. I think I need an intervention. Hopefully when I finish season five, I will actually start reading books again.

So I was reading some forums on Young Survival Coalition (YSC) - haven't been brave enough to post on there yet, and actually officially join the community of cancer survivors. You would think the reality of chemo and side effects would be enough to kick me into full on cancer survivorship, but for some reason reaching out and relating to other survivors who are total strangers doesn't appeal to me yet.

Those of you around SF know I haven't been shy about wearing my baldness proudly, and telling random strangers to check their boobies. However, I think I'm going to get a wig anyway. The American Cancer Society has a wig bank that will give me one for free, I get to go wig shopping which can be kind of cool, and as I was reading on the YSC forum, it would be nice to go out once in a while and not be the "cancer chick." One really cool thing I'm looking forward to when wig shopping is that in the past I've tried to take a picture of me and paste a hair cut or color over it to see how I'd look... now I can do that really easily! Perhaps I'll schedule something for next week.

Love,

Amy

Rainbow Thank you!

Hi Team,

Got an anonymous gift the other day, so figured this was the only way - Short thank you note to whoever sent me the gift card for Rainbow Grocery... there was no note or 'from' listed on there, so I'm not sure who it was, but Thank you!!! Rainbow has wonderful fresh organic food and bulk choices for whole grains, teas, herbs, etc. it's a health-food playground in there and I'm very excited to go shopping!

Thank you!
Amy

2nd week and still in the clear

Hi Team,

Still doing well! I keep waiting for the low low that I hit last time and still knocking on wood, but this round has been so much better than the last time around. Yesterday in my first round was the day I went to the hospital, and so far, no fever! Yay! Also, the muscle pain is not nearly as bad as last time, and the bone pain from the shot I had to take was noticeable, but not nearly as bad as some of what I've felt. So overall, very manageable. And, I've discovered that if I take 2 ativan (2-1mg lorazepam) before bed I sleep through the night, which while I understand may be encouraging an addiction, I will take that addiction instead of percocet (havent taken much of that yet at all) and accept my peaceful sleeping through the night.

I did make another stop into my hairstylist on Sunday afternoon and have her officially shave even my buzz cut down to the scalp as far as her electric razor would go. I do look totally bald now - Even the little half inch hairs were falling out ALL over the place, getting all over my hats and shirts and even down the back of my shirt during the day making it really itchy. It's SO much better now that I don't have to deal with that.

Mom went home early this morning - I'm definitely a little sad to have her leave, obviously because she's mom and nothing is better than your mom taking care of you, but also just because now I'm alone in the apartment. It's weird, when I used to live with roommates or past boyfriends I always liked living with someone, and when I moved into my own apartment it felt lonely and quiet for a while. Then I grew to really love living alone and having my personal space. I thought that when Mom came to live in my tiny apartment with me it would be a big challenge personal-space wise, but really it ended up feeling a little more like after I was living with a roommate, just kind of quiet and lonely after she's gone. I'm sure I will adjust back quickly, and plus she is coming back in a month and staying through my surgery.

Love,

Amy

Two other things I just had to share

Hi Team,

First, I was just catching up on some news and saw this article on SF gate... isn't necessary to read the whole thing, but the message really hit home. "Because life is not dress rehersal, it makes no sense not to do what you love with the people you care about." I couldn't have said it more clearly myself.

Also, Mom bought me a no-cookie and I love them. I may be an addict... thank God I have to climb up a hill to get to whole foods (granted only a 2.5 block hill, but still) to get more of them. Anyhow, they are vegan but delicious and I highly encourage all of you to try them - no wheat, no dairy, no refined sugar just pure tastiness. My personal favorite so far is the chocolate chip variety but of course that's because it has chocolate.

Love,
Amy

So Far So Good!

Hi Team,

All is well here in San Francisco, I've been feeling not too bad this time around really - I haven't hit the lowest point in my cycle yet (probably next Monday through Thurs or so) but so far the muscle pain hasn't been as bas as last time around. Some soreness and tastebuds going numb, but maybe the super-expensive Neulasta shot is helping me feel better. I'm also noticing that getting up and about and not sitting on my ass all day long does help! Amazing how that works, I'm not as sore when I move my body, something for all of us to remember!

This week have just been visiting with friends mostly and cleaning my apartment out some. Got rid of two big bags of books off my bookshelf yesterday, and mom took the bus down to the SF public library to donate them. She also sent a big box of books home to her in Hawaii, but because she had picked up a box at the grocery store which happened to be a 12-bottle case of 40oz. King Cobra Malt Liquor we had to make a few trips back and forth to cover up the writing on the box. FYI - can't send anything that looks to be a big box of liquor through the USPS.

To thank Mom for her ongoing caretaking and shit-work like hauling my giveaway books to the library to donate, I took her to happy hour yesterday at Moussy's, a cute French wine bar and Tapas place close to my apartment. We shared a (goat) cheese plate, mom had a glass of wine and I had iced tea. As time goes on, my short shaved head has been getting kinda patchy... I'm debating doing a totally clean shave pretty soon here, but at this point it just doesn't matter as much to me. I've been going out with hats on because it's cold, but when inside, I usually take them off - I don't care too much about people noticing my patchy head. Yesterday I had another first though - as I was paying our bill, the waiter said to me, "I'm sorry I hope you don't mind my asking, but what do you have?" The question did not register for me at first, as I was thinking... you already gave us the bill, you know what I had... Ice tea, ohhhhhh my hair. So I told him I have breast cancer, and he explained that his sister is currently undergoing chemo for lymphoma and her hair looks a lot like mine right now, and his mom just finished therapy for breast cancer. He was actually very nice and chatty, not awkward about it, but I have to say it took me by surprise. I really don't mind telling people about it, it's good to talk about it, and good PSA to have people tell their loved ones to check their boobies, but just another one of those firsts I'll have to get used to.

There was a bit of San Francisco fog setting in this morning, but am still going to get out and have lunch with a friend, get my body moving even if it's just a few blocks out of the house! I do miss all the warm sun and beaches in Kona, but I have also gotten to the point where the San Francisco fog is comforting. It looks like a blanket on the city, making it feel more homey and familiar.

Love you all,
Amy

Chemo #2 and Other fun Stuff

Hi Team,

Chemo #2 went well on Monday. They used my brand new port for the first time - it hurt a little bit because the surgery was just done on Friday and is not really healed yet, but was significantly better than getting stabbed multiple times in the arm and having damaged veins. I'm already a big fan. Here's a pic of me and Monika at the chemo room last Monday - they are using the port on my chest, and it's odd, I guess because the chemicals go straight into my jugular vein now, but I could definitely taste them a lot more as I got my infusion this time.


Also got my neulasta shots to hopefully keep me out of the hospital this time. Apparently the retail price of this drug from Amgen is over $3300 and I pay $30 - definitely had to do a double take on the receipt. Amazing what drug companies get away with! I guess it's because there is a generic where I would have to give myself a shot every day, but with the low levels my neutrophils got down to this past time, they didn't think they would be able to give me enough that way. Branded Neulasta apparently does a time-release deal that gives you more when you need it and less when it's not as needed. I gave myself the shot on Tuesday night and it was the weirdest thing, my first time ever giving myself an injection. Seems against your basic instincts once again to stab yourself with something, but really didn't hurt at all in comparison to some of these injections/IV's I've been getting. Amazing what you can do when you really have no choice.


Been having some fun despite all the chemo crap - Mom and I had a nice Mother's Day last Sunday, I was still feeling good so we went for a walk at the Marina Green, Mom got a massage, we went shopping on Union street and got her some new shoes and a Salsa dancing dress and of course crab for dinner!!


Mom, Monika and I went to see James Taylor and Carole King at the HP Pavilion on Tuesday night. Only half-way surprised me that a middle aged woman right in front of us light up a big joint right in the stadium, nobody seemed to mind though, ourselves included. Didn't stay for the whole thing, but just enough that I got my fix of 60s folk music :)


Thanks again to all of you for all your ongoing support and love coming my way, it definitely helps keep my spirits up and give me more energy! Depending on energy levels this week, I'm thinking about starting to clean out some of my books, old clothes and stuff out of my apartment, some spring cleaning. Spending so much time in this apartment makes me feel like I have way too much stuff.


Love,
Amy

Time for Goodies!

Monika here. At the risk of Amy murdering me for posting this, I wanted to address questions I've received from so many of you.

Everyone keeps asking what they can do to help. Amy's dad and family in Hawaii are hosting a big fundraiser to help cover some primary expenses and Amy isn't about to willingly accept any direct financial assistance, but there are things she needs or would enjoy that she won't necessarily do for herself.

I've started collecting some of these in a wish list through Amazon. If you don't know how this works, Amazon actually lets you link to items from all over, not just through their site. As you browse the list, you'll notice comments on the right side that tell you why each item is on there.

Here's the list:
http://amzn.com/w/1JCCJFUWACXFG

It will change periodically, as different needs/wants arise or are met, so I've added the link to the sidebar for your convenience.

Please feel free to email me with any questions, or for Amy's address. If you don't have my email (putting them out on blogs is just inviting tons of spam!), comment here and someone will be sure to answer you.

Side note:
I saw Amy yesterday for the first time since she did the buzz cut. Without bias, I have to say that she is honestly radiating beauty. Something about the cut just makes her eyes and cheekbones pop. Might have to try convincing her to leave it that way. :)

This is supposed to get easier right?

Hi Team,

Well today is the day I get chemo infusion #2 of six. I have to keep reminding myself that this whole process is doing more benefit than it is doing harm. It just seems so against my basic survival instincts to sit there in a chair and have toxic chemicals infused into my blood stream. Chemicals that the average person makes a concerted effort to stay away from, and chemicals that I know will make me feel like shit, have barely enough energy to walk a few blocks, make my body so sore it feels like I got hit by a bus, and drive my immune system down to nothing. It is doing more benefit than detriment. Just keep repeating it. I guess last time I was nervous but didn't really know how the side affects would be for me, and now I know so it is harder for me to go in and let them do it.

Hopefully this time will be better though - we are adding nuepogen, which will supposedly add a lot of bone pain on top of my muscle pain, but I also have percocet to help manage the pain now. So let's see how this time goes.

Love,
Amy

Lots of Updates

Hi Team,

Had a busy last 2 days - Thursday was a full day at Kaiser SF. Did a blood letting - my neutrophils are now back up to 2.0 (2000) and total white blood cells up to almost 4000 which is good enough for another dose of chemo and to get my port installed! We also looked at my red blood cells which were not quite low enough to get a transfusion, but we'll monitor this the next time around. My oncologist said that if we get to a point where we're having to manage too low blood cell counts for both the white and red, then we may lower the dose of chemo I'm getting. But for now, although I bottomed out really low, I seem to have recovered ok, so we're going to do another round of the same.

I had a consult w/ Dr. Liu (oncologist) and he had some similar goals as I did, to keep me out of the hospital, or rather keep my white blood cell counts higher this time - and to manage the pain. This time around I will be doing daily shots of neupogen which basically makes your bone marrow grow faster and produce white blood cells, specifically neutrophils - the type of white blood cells that fight infection and are considered "immune system." The good thing is that since I was in the hospital for 6 days, we know exactly what my low points were and how low they got. The unfortunate part about this is that neupogen is known to cause pretty bad bone aches as it makes your bone marrow grow faster, and compounding that with my major muscle pain from the last round of chemo may be pretty intense. He wrote me a prescription for percocet to try to help manage it, but we'll just take it day by day and adjust it if I really can't handle the pain. This should be interesting!!!

Also got my brain MRI on Thursday evening.. no results yet, but as they say, no news is good news when it comes to that stuff. I probably won't have any results until next week anyway.

Yesterday morning was my port insertion - The point of a port is that they won't have to poke me with a needle everytime I need to draw blood or get an IV or get chemotherapy. They insert a permenant port access into my jugular vein that has a small penny-sized access spot under the skin near my clavicle. I kept trying to figure out what kind of port they were planning on putting in and the extent of information I got was "chest port" - so to answer some of your questions, I don't think I got a power port... they certainly didn't call it that. It was an outpatient surgery where I got to the hospital at 6am, one of those 'hurry up and wait' situations. They had me strip down to absolutely nothing except my hospital gown and socks (was that really necessary?!?) and inserted an IV, then had me wait there for an hour while the surgeons showed up to work. Must be nice. I have to say that watching Grey's anatomy, I feel like I am desensitizing myself to seeing hospitals a lot more. It's totally the same thing as real life right?? Anyway, the nurse gave me what she told me would make me totally knocked out, some combination of versed and pain killers. Unfortunately I must be slightly more tolerant to pain killers than they anticipated because I could definitely feel when they started cutting, yelled at them and cried (I don't often cry from this stuff but I wasn't really in my normal state of mind either) and they quickly injected me with more of something that made me totally sleepy and out of it. I told them afterward that they did a good job making me out of it and they said "I'm glad you remember it that way" ha. So anyway, I have a port now... well, mostly I have a big bandage that is all bloody and taped to my chest now. Supposedly on Monday when I get my chemotherapy, they will flush it out and change the dressing. In the mean time, baths only, no showers. Which I am totally fine with. I love a nice hot bath.

So the other and last big hurdle that I overcame yesterday was my hair. Somehow all of these procedures, pain, hospitalizations, and the most stressful things to me have been the decision to take time off work and the decision of when to shave my head. Seems superficial with everything that's going on, but somehow I feel like I don't have any control over the rest of it, so I can just roll with the punches. These decisions I have control over and it makes it a lot harder! So anyway, lately my hair had been falling out in pretty big bunches whenever I ran my hand through it and I was totally obsessing with when it would start to come out in big clumps and leave bald spots. It is bound to happen at some point, and it was already starting to fall out, so I decided to just rip off the band aid and get it shaved. That way I can stop stressing about when its going to happen. My awesome hair stylist Kathleen did it for me, my friend Addie came along w/ my mom and we made a fun time of it - champagne and chocolate macaroons and of course a Mohawk cut in between. I'll post a pic of the mohawk cut in between as soon as I get Addie's pics as the one my mom took didn't quite come out. I actually don't mind the look now, obviously its not something I would choose if I had a choice, but I have a pretty nicely shaped head and I think I can pull it off. I told my friend Addie we will just have to go get me some more eye makeup and I just need to remember to smile more. Kathleen didn't shave it all the way down to the scalp b/c she didn't want the razor against my head, so depending on how it falls out I may still have to go back and get a closer shave if it starts looking patchy, but we'll see how it goes. At least now I am not stressing about it all falling out as I touch it or sleep on it - and it was starting to hurt at my scalp and it feels a lot better now. Somehow I thought I would be in tears and hysterical over having to do this, but I wasn't. The anticipation was much worse than just finally getting it over with. Whew! Also, my salon is now donating all their cut hair to help clean up the oil spill, so I also made a big contribution to cleaning up the coast!

Love, Amy

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Hi Team,

Did you all know that Cinco de Mayo is not actually a Mexican holiday? As far as Anthony and I could remember, it's some famous battle that was won, but the real Mexican Independance Day is in September - I remember this very clearly because my friends Michelle, Jean and myself happened to be in Puerto Vallarta a few years back on Mexican Independance Day. Viva Mexico! All the same, today we got ourselves over to a happy hour place and had a margarita. I haven't been drinking at all during chemo, but I've been feeling good this week and still drinking lots of water, so I decided it's allowed. We discovered that McCormick and Kuleto's steak house has a pretty good happy hour 3-6pm Margaritas $4.95 (regular, peach, mango, strawberry or kiwi!) and lots of different food options between $1.95-$4.95. Anthony got a huge cheeseburger w/ fries for $2.95!

Here's a pic of all of us at Happy Hour yesterday. Our friend Elizabeth also came down to visit from Santa Rosa (although long time friend from Kona), she has deemed herself my mom's Northern California caretaker, which I am very glad for, as my mom needs a break every once in a while too!

Overall, I am very much enjoying this week - almost like I get a week off from feeling crappy and tired. I'm still more tired than I was normally before chemo, but all the major aches and pains are not there this week! Aside from my hair falling out and my taste buds being weird, I would hardly be able to tell. I do have a few things I have to get done this week though - tomorrow is another blood test and meeting with the oncologist. Hopefully we will adjust a few things. I made myself some goals for the next round of chemotherapy.

1. Keep back and muscle pain manageable, let's say 5 out of 10 instead of this past time where I definitely hit 10 out of 10 a few times.

2. Try not to get checked into the hospital. I specifically am not saying go to the hospital, because I need to be ok with going to the ER if I have a temperature, since I guess that's the right thing to do. 20 neutrophils from this past round say so anyway.

Those are really my main goals, which I'll go over w/ my onc tomorrow and hopefully come up with a game plan!

Tomorrow night I also have a brain MRI - standard test for people who have HER+ tumors. Basically another scan to make sure it hasn't spread to my brain. Also.... drumroll.... Friday, I am getting my port installed! It is a surgical procedure at the hospital, but I will not be put under general anesthesia, only "conscious sedation" - I'm not sure what that means but I sure as hell hope I am just barely conscious because I still do not do well with needles or getting cut on. However, I'm super excited because this will mean no more painful needle stabbings to get blood, or insert an IV - and after my chemo and week at the hospital, I have bruises all over from that stuff. V. exciting.

I have so much enjoyed this week, actually having energy to do a little shopping, go to happy hours and out to dinner a few times. I think next time I am in my 3rd week I may try to actually do some exercise so my body doesn't get totally out of it. We'll see how it goes though.

Love,

Amy

Feeling like a Normal Person

Hi Team,

I have a strong feeling that I'm really going to enjoy this week. I don't have any major aches and pains, no fever, and have enough energy to at least be up on my feet for a few hours without major reprocussions!

Yesterday went down to Union Square with mom - it was a beautiful sunny day and we sat on the sidewalk and read our books, caught up on a few phone calls. Then we went out to lunch at an actual restaurant - Cafe La Presse, food was mediocre, but it was MUCH better than hospital food. Then did a little shopping, browsed through the sale rack at banana republic fruitlessly and bought some fun and funky scarves at H&M for head-wrapping once I get bald. That was the extent of my energy yesterday, but it felt wonderful being out in the world, getting sun, eating at restaurants and shopping. I just feel so much more in my natural element when I'm shopping :) Will have to do some more shopping for makeup, other stuff this week. Definitely a must-do.

Started in the hospital but I'm also getting highly addicted to Grey's Anatomy - never watched it when it came out on TV but always knew I would probably like it. I'm in season 2 now where Meredith finds out Dr. McDreamy didn't sign his divorce papers..... dun dun dun.... don't any of you dare put any spoilers on here, let me have my fun!

This week no more Dr appointments until Thursday - although that will be a full day of consult w/ oncologist (Dr. Liu), doing lab blood work again and brain MRI. They have to just scan my brain to eliminate the possibility of it having spread up there since HER2+ tumors seem to have a higher tendancy to do that. I'm trying to get my port installation scheduled for Friday so I'll have my white blood cell counts from the Thurs lab tests (remember, my nutrophils have to be above 1000 to do the port) and really hopeful to have it done before the next chemo infusion a week from today!


Love,
Amy

Get out of Jail (but not for free!)

Hi Team,

I finally got out today! They released me from my jail cell.... ok maybe that's a little dramatic. I told my dad today they had me tied down to the bed and he was incredulous until I told him it was intravenously (my IV) lol. I guess technically that's not tied to the bed. But I did have to unplug the IV machine from the wall before trying to go anywhere, and then wheel the damn thing around with me everywhere. Nothing screams "sick" than having to wheel an IV behind you. To the side is a pic of me and my good friend Addie who came to visit me. I was feverish and all wrapped up to keep the shivers down.

I am not sick anymore though! White blood cell counts are firmly above 500 for 2 days in a row, and the same for my fever (below 100), so I had marked everything off their list of requirements. The hospital stay did not cost nearly as much as I had thought but you know Kaiser, they always ominously say "but this is just an estimation and you may get billed for a balance." Who knows! You may, at any time, get billed for any amount that our mysterious computer did not estimate. Of course you can't ask that person any questions because this is all passively done by the mysterious computer. So, we'll see.

Anyway, am safely home now, and my lovely mother was kind enough to go get take-out for us of my most favorite soup in the world, Bakwan Malang from the Indonesian restaurant about 8 blocks away, Borobudur. Delicious and has tofu, 2 different kinds of noodles, meatballs, fried chicken dumplings, greens, beef and just about the kitchen sink in it.

I am feeling more energetic as you can probably tell and am looking forward to hopefully a week off and really hopefully a week of having enough energy to actually leave the house and do something (seriously, anything).

Just to prep you all, this week may be the week I lose my hair. My head has started feeling sore - that feeling where your mom puts your hair in a super tight pony tail all day long and then you take it out and move it in a different direction. Just weirdly achy. My friend who has also gone through chemo, Dana said that's the feeling of your hair follicles "loosening" and a few other cancer survivors I know have said it was about 14 days into chemo that they lost their hair... that would be Monday! So am warning you all and my hairdresser that a shaving may be in order next week for both mess and pain-management.

Last note, my kitties are very glad that I was kind enough to come back from my spa-vacation to pet and take care of them. And of course, I love having them hold me down on the couch. Here's one of the cute ones - I have two, this is Brutus and eventually I'll post a pic of Toby as well, although they look very similar.

Love,

Amy