Had a nice day today, no cancer to-do's. Went to see hot tub time machine which made me laugh, but please don't spend your money on it at the theater. Really bad. I did read a lot of the book 'Crazy Sexy Cancer' which I highly recommend if you or someone very close to you has to go through this.
Today I practiced embracing what the Breast Care Coordinator at Kaiser told me the other day - anything and everything you feel, as long as it's not homocidal or suicidal, is totally normal.
One thing I was musing on is in the process of telling people about the cancer, I have gotten a lot of passing comments about how sad it is that stuff like this happens to good people. While I agree, I think we as a culture tend to look at things a little backwards in this sense. We think people are either good or bad, and then as a result things happen to them accordingly (or don't). I think it may be more accurate to say that things happen (or don't) and what people do with that is what makes them into who they are.... so really, although this may look like something bad happening to a good person, it's really just something random happening to a random person, in order for me to take this experience and make myself a better, more loving and accepting person. It's what you do with it afterward that counts, not what you were before it happened.
As I told my Mandy friends in Chicago on the phone the other day, with all the shit I have had to go through (and will go through), I can't wait to meet me when I'm older - I bet I'm really awesome. :)
Love,
Amy
you're already awesome. you'll just be awesomer. btw, i agree with your sentiments. it's nice to see your mature side once in a while. ;)
ReplyDeletei also saw hot tub time machine in the theatre with my lil brother and parents. that was a bit awkward. however, john cusack looks damn fine in that film. definitely worth a rental for that alone.
Amy, I will check in every day to see what is going on. You are right that this experience will make you a stronger person and probably closer to God. Take it from someone who knows, our "life's not fair" issues tend to do that. He warns us that we will go through trials but that He is always there for us. I pray for you every day and there are several churches I have asked for prayers. Thanks for giving so much detail about your treatment. I love you so much! Jan
ReplyDeleteWhile I have not totally made my way through the whole blog yet (starting from the beginning) and, more importantly, your experience over the last year, this post deserves a pause. Your wisdom back then is striking. And to think that all that wisdom is only getting richer as time goes on.
ReplyDeleteI can honestly say as one of your newer friends that I'm so glad I met you because you are really awesome right here and now, Amy, and it looks like you always were.
xoxo
Nancy
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